Sober Curious? Learn What a Break from Alcohol Can Do for You, and Tips for How to Do It

With alcohol-free months such as 'Dry January' or 'Sober October' gaining popularity in recent years, many people are exploring semi-sobriety by having a break from alcohol, or drinking less. We talk about the benefits of participating in a dry month, and helpful hints to help you get through it: https://bit.ly/4sLrk6D

In this Episode:

• 04:40 – Tips for Longevity and Living Well from People in their 90’s: Staying Connected
• 09:10 – What is Dry January? The Emerging Sober Curious Trend and Benefits
• 13:05 – Helpful Hints for Taking a Break from Alcohol
• 15:43 – Discussion with Charlie: It’s all About Moderation
• 26:13 – “Grief is Like a Really Ugly Couch”, from Leaving Time by Jody Picoult
• 27:05 – Outro

What happens when alcohol isn’t part of the picture, even for a short time? In this episode, we explore the origins of Dry January and what research shows about taking a break from alcohol. 

From improved sleep and mood to better energy, focus, and long-term changes in drinking habits, the benefits often go beyond what people expect. Learn practical, supportive strategies that help make a pause easier - whether you’re sober-curious, cutting back, or simply interested in what you might notice when alcohol takes a back seat.

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 4:40 Tips for Longevity and Living Well from People in their 90’s: Stayin Connected
• 9:10 What is Dry January? The Emerging Sober Curious Trend and Benefits
• 13:05 Helpful Hints for Taking a Break from Alcohol
• 15:43 Discussion with Charlie: It’s all About Moderation
• 26:13 “Grief is Like a Really Ugly Couch”, from Leaving Time by Jody Picoult
• 27:05 Outro

Transcript

Hello and welcome to Everyone Dies. It's often said that change starts with one person and when it comes to taking a break from alcohol that's usually how it begins. Not with a big declaration but with a pause.

A decision to notice how you feel, how you cope, and what changes when alcohol isn't a part of the picture. Today we're talking about where that idea grew into something bigger and what the research tells us about why a break from alcohol can improve our quality of life. So relax and settle in for our podcast about serious illness, dying, death, and bereavement.

Because even though everyone dies, no one has to face it unprepared. I'm Marianne Matzo, a nurse practitioner and I use my experience from working as a nurse for 47 years to help answer your questions about what happens at the end of life. And I'm Charlie Navarrette, an actor in New York City and here to offer an every person viewpoint to our podcast.

We're both here because we believe that the more you know, the better prepared you are to make difficult decisions. Additionally, remember, this podcast does not provide medical nor legal advice. Please listen to the complete disclosure at the end of the recording.

In the first half, Charlie continues a series of advice from 90-year-olds on longevity and living well and has our recipe of the week. In the second half, we're exploring dry January, alcohol reduction, health benefits, and what helps when you step away from drinking. In our third half, Charlie has a quote from author Jody P. Cole.

Hi, Charles. Hello, hello. How are you? Living the dream.

Aren't we all? Well, I guess not. Thank you. Thank you very much for that commentary.

You know... No, tell me. Okay. So, I saw this movie last week.

It's called Eternity. I don't think it's across the country yet, but I recommend this bad boy. It's basically a woman's husband is, you know, starts in World War II.

A woman's husband is killed pretty much after he goes off to war. She remarries someone and stays, you know, and then they are married for the next, I don't know, like 60 years. And then he dies.

And then she dies. And there is this like a way station that everybody goes to to process, you know, okay, their life is finished now. Now they get to decide what they want to do.

Do they want to spend eternity in Paris? Do they want to spend eternity basically almost anything they want to do? Well, she now has two ex-husbands and she needs to decide. She can't have both. She needs to decide which one.

You know, there's humor in it. I personally, I don't think enough, but it's yeah, it's just that notion. You're dead.

You have two spouses. You need to pick one. I won't tell you how it ends.

It was enjoyable. You know, I used to have a dream where David, my husband who was married for 43 years and his wife unfortunately died. And when we were first married, I used to have this dream that she really wasn't dead or she somehow comes back to life and he has to decide which wife he's going to be with.

Oh, that's crazy. Okay. Isn't it? That's this movie.

Yes. Yeah. Well, except it was my dream and it wasn't a good dream because I guess in my insecure brain that he wasn't going to pick me, but so far that hasn't happened.

So well, that's good. Well, for me. Yeah.

Well, for our first half, Sue and Fitzgerald profiled people in their nineties and published their tips for longevity and living well. Since I'm confident that I will one day be an octopus or an octogenarian, well, you know, old. An octomom? Yes, an octomom.

You know, the mother of an octopus or an octogenarian. Yeah, right. I'm looking to hedge my bet by learning from others how they made this milestone.

We continue this week with Elaine Scherer, age 91, whose defining characteristic is staying connected. Elaine Scherer fell into a funk after her last sibling died this past spring. The oldest of five, she had experienced other painful losses, including that of her adult daughter, but the death of her sister, Molly, hit especially hard.

Scherer, normally an on-the-go person, felt lackluster and kept more to herself at her senior community in suburban Philadelphia. Quote, I had no desire to do anything, she says. Luckily, a friend noticed the change and suggested that Scherer attend a faith-based ministry to talk about her grief and other concerns.

Scherer did so, and it made a tremendous difference. That Scherer sought help from someone is not surprising, given that personal connections have always been important to her. She studied French in college and attended the University of Lyon in France on a Fulbright scholarship.

She made good friends there and returned to the country more than a dozen times. At the community where she now lives, she coordinated a foreign affairs discussion called Great Decisions and Doubled Participation. Some of Scherer's longtime activities fell by the wayside during the pandemic, including involvement in her church, where she was a lector for many years.

But the pandemic inspired new traditions, such as Fireside Thursdays, group gatherings outside with hors d'oeuvres and wine. For 23 years, Scherer gave tours of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, some in French. She became a docent at the museum after a career that included teaching, computers, and working with actuaries.

Although 19th century European art was her specialty in the museum, quote, when I had tours for French visitors, I often guided them through the American wing because I felt that it was important for people coming to this country to see that we had good artists, she says. Scherer, who divorced when her two children were grown, played tennis into her 80s and still likes to swim and walk her dog. She lives independently and still drives, although she doesn't really enjoy driving anymore.

Other than having a pacemaker and having experienced some broken bones, she is in good health. I can't do what I did five years ago, she said, and I've accepted that I'm using a cane. For peace of mind, she tries to limit how much she watches the news, preferring police dramas and public television.

As for making the most of later life, Scherer says, my advice would be go out and be with other people. Don't hibernate in your room. Our funeral lunch dip, in honor of Elaine's French connections, is French onion dip, served with potato or pretzel chips.

This dip will take you back to your childhood sleepovers with friends. Bon appétit. Please go to our webpage for this week's recipe and additional resources for this program.

This is the part where we ask for your financial support. Your tax-deductible gift will go directly to supporting our non-profit journalism so that we can remain accessible to everyone. You can donate at www.everyonedies.org. That's every, the number one, dies.

Or at our site on Patreon under Everyone Dies. Marianne? Thanks, Charlie. Change starts with one person, and in the case of Dry January, this is literally true.

Dry January is a temporary alcohol abstinence challenge where participants commit to abstaining from drinking alcohol for one month. In 2011, Emily Robinson was training for her first half marathon. After a booze-fueled New Year's Eve, she woke up on New Year's Day feeling less than her best and decided to give up drinking for the rest of the month.

Later that year, she started working at Alcohol Change UK, and in 2013, Dry January had its official kickoff with 4,000 people participating. Participation in 2025 was up to 20,000. Alcohol Change UK supports non-profit fundraising research about the effects of alcohol and education about alcohol use.

Next week, we're going to focus on potential health risks of drinking, but this week, we're going to mix things up a bit and start with the benefits of not drinking. We can point out the obvious benefits, consuming fewer calories, saving money, not having to go to DUI school, but the reality is the benefits of not drinking are linking to improved psychological and physical health and include weight loss, lower blood sugar and blood pressure, better mood, and improved sleep. Even people who just reduced their alcohol use for the month, called damp January, experienced benefits.

Stroger and colleagues published a paper in 2025 summarizing the findings of 16 research studies about Dry January. Their findings included benefits of alcohol reduction and well-being despite whether participants fully abstained. Alcohol Change UK has supported resources such as emails, text messages, and the TryDry app, which I have links for all of that in the show notes, with as many as 96 percent of Dry January participants signing up.

Participants in Dry January tend to report greater concern about their drinking and lower psychological well-being at the start of January than adults in a comparison study of past month drinkers from the general population. Compared to this general population drinker sample, Dry January participants tend to report having higher incomes, completing university education, being female, and being younger. Dry January participants reported decreased drinking and self-reported psychological benefits included greater mental well-being, higher levels of general and drink refusal self-efficacy, more positive feelings, a greater sense of control, greater physical well-being, weight loss, improved sleep quality, greater energy, and greater concentration, and greater happiness.

The one self-reported negative effect of participating in Dry January was that abstaining individuals reported less social contact than those who continued to drink. Positive biological changes were observed among those who remain abstinent from alcohol for one month include improved insulin resistance, blood pressure, growth factors, that's the types of chemicals that support the growth of vascular structure, and liver function, as well as decreases in liver fat, blood glucose, and weight. The research findings documented that up to six months later, Dry January participants reported decreased drinking frequency, reduced drunkenness, and lower alcohol consumption.

If as you're listening to this you're thinking you just might be sober curious and would like to participate in Dry January, we have some helpful hints to help you get through the last two weeks of the month so you can start now. Also you can be dry for any month of the year you choose. There's no magic about January except for the thousands of people participating at the same time who can help support you.

First keep track of when and how much you drink. You can go old school and use a notebook or use your notes app on your phone or the digital tracking app from Alcohol Change UK. Again links are in the show notes.

Include notes about your mood, energy level, and how much money you're saving abstaining from alcohol. Next make social choices that support your Dry January goal. If you're in a situation of pressure to drink, you can say, hey I'm participating in Dry January, which can take the pressure off and let your friends support your efforts to start the year healthier.

Ask your drinking buddy to be your Dry January buddy. If they are not interested, you can ask another friend or family member to join you or connect with the Dry January group online. Fourth, stay busy.

Explore activities that don't involve drinking. Take a class at your local art museum. Join a Zumba class or a book club.

Volunteer at a non-profit organization. We would love your help. Lastly, find non-alcoholic alternatives to your usual drinking habits.

Try new mocktails, different flavored waters, or fancy coffees. If you're wondering whether taking a break from alcohol might tell you something about yourself, think of this as an invitation, not a challenge. You don't have to quit forever, do it perfectly, or even do it in January.

A pause can be enough to notice what helps, what changes, and what you want to carry forward. And sometimes that kind of awareness is the most meaningful outcome of all. For your consideration, when alcohol isn't a part of the picture, what do you notice helps you cope, connect, or unwind? Write us at mail at everyonedies.org, that's e-v-e-r-y, the number one dies.org, and let us know your thoughts.

And I don't know, Charlie, can we start with you? When alcohol isn't in the picture, what do you notice that helps you cope, connect, or unwind? Nothing. Nothing changes. I hear what you're saying, I agree with you, but I think every person is an individual.

For me, it's always about moderation. For me, I know I make jokes all the time about drinking and different cocktails, which I enjoy very much, but you know, I may have a martini and then not touch anything for several days, and then I might have two or three drinks, you know, different days of the week, and everything is just in moderation. I enjoy having a drink.

I enjoy just drinking and hanging out with people and things just spontaneously erupt. I do understand what you're saying, and I do believe that some people just don't control themselves, and they need something to numb whatever is going on in their lives, and if that's what an individual needs, everything you're saying, yeah, I agree with. You need to moderate.

You need to set limits on yourself. Yeah, that's what I feel. Well, that's, you know, and I think maybe being in New York, it's more, I don't know, you can tell me, more part of the culture or the society to be able to pop into a corner bar, you know, you're doing a lot more walking and a lot more kind of being, you know, your feet on the street, and so there's probably a lot more opportunities to socialize in those situations.

Like for me, I live out in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors and, you know, walk, but you can walk and maybe see a moose or a deer, but you're not going to see people or a bar to pop in and have a drink and visit with people. So it's less of a, for me, it's less of a thing, you know, like we have alcohol in the house, and I don't know, I'd personally rather eat my carbs than drink. If somebody says, do you want a glass of wine, or do you want a piece of bread with butter, I'm always going to go for the bread with butter.

Yeah, what you had mentioned about, you know, people, how did you put it, about people drinking alcohol in a, like in a societal way, you know, social contact and everything like that. Yeah, fewer people in general are, you know, more people are drinking less. I mean, statistically, that's out there.

But yeah, I don't know for me, like I said, everything is in moderation. And also, too, with just with, you know, going out and, you know, New York, obviously, is a big city, but I just noticed in other places, too, you know, smaller cities, towns. Yeah, I guess with me, I don't, I don't understand if someone keeps drinking and drinking any pleasure in that.

But I know, you know, people do that, because they try to forget, or they don't want to deal with things. People tend to be more isolated, and especially men now, just don't seem to be able a lot of times just to have, just to start a conversation with other men. Yeah, so it's easier than just to drink or isolate.

But I do notice with women, they just seem more at ease just hanging out, maybe having drinks, maybe not, but just hanging out. I think it's also a societal thing. Yeah.

And maybe women prefer to, you know, have coffee and donuts or, you know. Well, not the women I know, but yeah. But I see your point.

It just, it just, yeah, it just depends on the person. Yeah. Now, we just went for Christmas holiday, took our youngest daughter, went to an all-inclusive resort, which means all the food you can eat and all the booze you can drink.

And as I will totally contradict what I just said, I mean, there were days in between where I wouldn't drink anything at all, but then there were days where, like, Julie and I would walk around the pool, and each lap around the pool, we'd stop at the bar and get another drink. I understand that, yes. And that's really, like, the only place that I would say, and, you know, we'll talk next week more about alcohol itself and binge drinking and that kind of thing.

And there's a lot of kind of behaviors that are beginning to show up in terms of alcohol use, but certainly you saw that at especially the swim-up bar where, you know, it's hot, it's sunny, you're relaxed. It's like, oh, you know, and the bartender says, oh, do you want another one? It's like, yeah, sure. It's nine in the morning, but who cares? It's nine in the morning.

I have the whole day to sleep it off, and then wake up in the afternoon and start over again. Yes, I- That's right. That's right.

And then we, like, we met some people from, there were a lot of people from Canada at the resort we were at, and we're talking to this woman and her aunt, and they said, oh, can we buy you a drink? And we laughed. We said, sure. And they were drinking shots of tequila, and I don't do shots of anything, and so we're standing at the bar, you know, did a couple shots with them.

It's like, god, this is, you know- Yeah. No, no, no, no. I understand.

So far off my life. I get that. But, you know, if, I guess if once a year, you know, you meet people from Canada and do a couple shots, is that really gonna kill you? It might, but, you know.

Uh, yeah, it's, um, and I understand when I was younger. Yes, I understood the whole concept of shots, and I enjoyed it very much, but now, um, no, I just rather, again, have a, you know, a martini, or an old-fashioned, or a Manhattan in front of me, and just enjoy that. You know, I have a book with me, or I'm writing something, or start conversations with people.

Um, yeah, it's, I can't quite know how to phrase that, but it's just the pleasure of that, of that moment. And, again, then I might go for the next hour just sipping on this one martini, or in an hour, I might have knocked back two and starting number three. I don't, it just depends on that situation.

And, again, I don't recommend that for everybody, but it's just, you know, for me, that works. But it's, you know, I'm, yeah, most of the time, I'm just thinking here, most of the time, um, it's just, it's when I'm out. I mean, I will have a drink once in a while here at home, but, yeah, it's just a, for me, it's a societal thing.

And I understand for, you know, too many people are abusing it, and others are just, like, walking away from booze. Um, so, um, yeah, to each, uh, his own. Well, stay tuned for next week when we kind of go into the, um, the details of, of alcohol use, and some of the new research that's coming out that might make people kind of rethink if their, their drinking habits.

Um, and I know it's backwards to talk about dry January, but I wanted us to at least get people, you know, if you wanted to do. Absolutely. Options.

Dry end of January, you could still participate. You know, and, and, and as, as you say about, in, about, you know, drinking and, you know, dry January, uh, it doesn't have to be January. It can be dry April or, you know, whenever the thing is.

The, um, you know, the other thing, it reminded me of, uh, New Year's resolutions. And, okay, so beginning January 1st, I'm going to do this. Um, now you can make a resolution and resolve to do something different anytime when you're ready for it.

It doesn't have to be January 1st. And again, what I've seen is that a lot of people, you know, resolve to do something January 1st and then January 5th comes along and suddenly it all falls apart. Um, Well, and, and New Year's resolutions are supposed to be what you resolve to do for the whole year.

Exactly. Where dry January is for one month. Right.

And you, you know, having the support of the rest of people who are doing dry January, something to be said for that, where if you've got a whole group of your friends who say, we're not drinking this month, we're going bowling or something else to be together, then it's gotta be easier that way. No, you're absolutely right. Yeah.

Okay. For our third half from Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult. My father died last year, Thomas said.

I still look for him in crowds. He shrugged. I think grief is like a really ugly couch.

It never goes away. You can decorate around it. You can slap a doily on top of it.

You can push it to the corner of the room, but eventually you learn to live with it. Somehow I thought elephants had taken it a step further. They didn't grimace every time they entered the room and saw the couch.

They said, remember how many good memories we had here? And they sat for just a little while before moving elsewhere. Thus ends this week's episode. Please stay tuned for the continuing saga of Everyone Ties, and thank you for listening.

You can find most episodes from our series about grief on Spotify, Apple podcasts, or your favorite podcast app. Follow and subscribe to the show. Share it with someone who needs a little hope today.

This is Charlie Navarrette. And from Jim Morrison, lead man of The Doors, no one gets out alive. And I'm Marianne Matzo, and we'll see you next week.

Remember, every day is a gift. This podcast does not provide medical advice. All discussion on this podcast, such as treatments, dosages, outcomes, charts, patient profiles, advice, messages, and any other discussion are for informational purposes only and are not a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment.

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